“Everyone who works in a shop should be allowed to openly take the piss out of their customers. It’s far more British than the strain of imported corporate civility-by-numbers that megachain staff are sometimes forced to recite: the robotic “How can I help you?” mantras that only really make sense in America, because they’re so friendly they actually mean it. The words don’t feel false in their mouths. If I ran a national burger franchise – which I don’t – I’d make it a rule that no two customers can be greeted with precisely the same words, and that every third customer must be grossly insulted as a matter of course. Just to keep the atmosphere nice and lively. And to keep the staff laughing.
Yes, laughing staff. That’s the other irritating assumption people make about working in shops, especially burger bars – that the job must be so dismal, every single employee shuffles about in a perpetual state of misery, actively welcoming death. That only the utterly desperate or dumb could possibly stick it out. These characteristics could apply to almost any job, of course. What I disliked most about working as a shop assistant wasn’t the occasional snooty customer, or the shop, or the hours, but they way people reacted when I told them I was a shop assistant – their automatic assumption that I didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t particularly enjoy my life at the time, but I did enjoy the job. Not every day, not constantly – but I liked it more than I disliked it. Maybe I’m odd. Maybe I was lucky and had unusually entertaining co-workers. Or maybe there are far, far worse things you could do.
Just casually sat in Abu Dhabi airport waiting for my connecting flight to Sydney
Been an up and down journey - I was 4 kg overweight with my suitcase so I ended up having to throw away all my toiletries and wear 7 tshirts, a jumper, 2 cardigans, jeans over leggings, 2 dresses and 2 hoodies. And I was still .5kg overweight but the desk lady let me through thank god - not spending £30 per kilo!
On the plus side, no one’s sitting next to me on the airplane so I get to spread out, the food’s pretty good and there’s so many amazing movies on the in flight entertainment! So far I’ve watched Tangled (finally) and Beauty and the Beast for nostalgia reasons. I’ve still got the new Harry Potter, The King’s Speech, Morning Glory, Unstoppable, The Day After Tomorrow, Made in Dagenham and possibly Never Let Me Go, except Keira Knightley’s “acting” makes me want to vomit a little and I didn’t enjoy the book that much.