Fuck feeling inadequate. Fuck laying in bed thinking about everything you’re not doing. Fuck feeling like time is running out. Fuck self image. Fuck his perfect face. Fuck your unwashed hair. Fuck not trying hard enough. Fuck the internet. Fuck colds. Fuck being alone. Fuck loneliness. Fuck having to do it all over again tomorrow. Fuck youth. This isn’t youth. This isn’t freedom and weightlessness. Fuck not feeling young. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this.
I will not go out on Paddy’s day ever again. I drank ridiculous amounts of goon and woke up this morning late for my dumping date. He bought me flowers that are currently residing in a bin in Darling Harbour.
Plus I will not waste my money on cigarettes, I swear.